Katie wants a baby brother!

We had a playdate this morning with my friend Dana and her kids Callie just 6 months older than the triplets and baby Jackson 2 months old. The kids were in love with "baby Jack" they wanted to hold him and love on him.

Katie especially loved the baby here she is feeding him.


We asked if we could keep him but his mommy said no! Darn it I was this close!

Here are a few other pics from the last couple of weeks, I haven't shared pics in a while.



James dressing himself



Abigail dressing the baby

My little "thug" Katie

Sad

I don't know how to write this or even how to comprehend but I need to post asking for prayers for my friend and her family.

One of my dearest friends gave birth to a baby boy on Saturday after a long and difficult pregnancy and this morning she had to say goodbye. He was just over 28 weeks and weighed a little over 3lbs. He fought for so long while his mommy did everything they told her and he just couldn't be strong anymore.

My Abigail weighed less and Katie weighed the same so I can almost picture her sweet baby angel and it breaks my heart how much she must be hurting. I can't even imagine.

Please forgive my sad post tonight but all I want to do is hold my babies tight and love them. Please do the same with yours.......

Speech Therapy

Ok so finally James saw the speech therapist from ECI on Tuesday and let me start by saying I'm not impressed with ECI. First it has taken FOREVER to get the poor child approved and now they are only going to come once a month.

The lady was very nice but she kept saying over and over again how he was so borderline and she just didn't know if she should approve him. Then she recommends that we wait 3 months and have him re-evaluated, well now that sounds great except ECI only comes out until they are 3 and if I wait 3 months, it takes another 3 months to approve him then gee we get what 2 sessions before they pass him along to the school system? Gee doesn't sound like to positive of an approach to me.

James is a very smart child he understands most everything I tell him (when he wants to), and he is somewhere between 4-6 months behind on speech. Here is my delima and please don't ever tell dh I made this post, I don't want my son to have the same difficulty speaking that his father does. Jim was in special ed in elementary school for no reason other than it was very difficult to understand him and back then they didn't know what to do for them. Jim is the ONLY one in his family to graduate from college and he is very intelligent but he has a very difficult time speaking in large groups or in stressful situations such as interviews. Jim has had a lot of trouble finding jobs in the past because he doesn't interview well. Heck I have to make him repeat himself multiple times very often just to understand him.

James talks but 90% of the time you can't understand him and he is starting to get very frustrated and I'm sure discouraged because of it. On the other hand maybe I'm jumping the gun heck I spend half the time waiting for something to go wrong with one of my children simply because I've been so lucky.

I know you guys will tell me to follow my gut that the mommy instinct is usually right, but honestly my mommy gut is confused here to. I don't know if I need to push the issue or just take what ECI gives and see what happens.

In the meantime we have a hearing test next week and an appointment the following week with an ENT to see check that his adenoids and tonsils aren't enlarged. I have a couple of numbers for private therapists that were given to me by friends that I think I'll contact for another opinion as well.

Owies

Did ya know that Dora band aids and kisses fix any kind of owie? Interesting thought really if only it took the pain away when someone smacks you in the head with a broom or stopped the bleeding when you bit your lip.

Yesterday Katie hit me across the back of my head with her little broom and when I yelped "ouch" she instantly said "dora banbaid mommy?". Hmmm now if I could figure out how to get the darn thing to stick to my head without pulling out all my hair it might work. Abigail and James were instantly concerned and ran over to kiss mommy's head aww thanks guys, and of course Katie joined in. That's what did the trick, how can you complain when you have the three sweetest babies in the world kissing your head?

A little while after that Abigail was eating a rice cake and bit her lip causing a very loud scream and then a nice stream of blood. Once the screaming stopped what did she want? "Dora band aid mommy". I tried to explain the the band aid wouldn't stick (do the band aid companies realize the flaws to their design?) but she wouldn't hear anything of it and about that time James found a band aid lying on the floor. Eeek where did that come from you may ask, well to be honest I'm not sure but there wasn't any blood on it so oh well, and besides she really only wanted to hold it it didn't actually have to go on her face.

So see the important lesson here is keep Dora band aids on hand they are very important to all that ail you. And thanks Cyndi for introducing them to Dora band aids, I almost had them convinced our store only carried the plain ones, and thanks Mimi for running out and buying them their own box, and thanks Grandma and Aunt Katie for allowing them to play with the Scooby Doo band aids at Grandmas house.

The other important lesson here is kisses really do cure all! My kids now kiss all owies and expect all owies to be kissed by all available parties. You see the more kisses the less pain!

Frustration

For me and poor James. My poor baby boy is trying so hard to speak but I swear I can't understand the words that come out of his mouth 80% of the time. The majority of the time I can figure it out based on where he is, what he is doing, what time of the day it is, etc.

Today though the poor child stood in front of me for no less than 5 minutes yelling the same thing at me. I had no clue what the child was saying as hard as I tried, I asked all the usual questions, I tried getting him to show me, he finally laid his head down on the table by me and cried.

How awful for my child he wanted so desperately to tell me and I just wasn't responding to him. Finally Katie pointed to James sippy cup laying on the floor and proceeded to tell on herself saying" I took it". What the heck are you kidding me child your poor brother is having a fit, your poor mom is adding to the guilt log, and you stole his cup? Really it was Katie, usually Abigail is my bully.

So I called ECI again today I called them after the kids turned 2 and the pedi said he wasn't on track but they came out and the first eval said he didn't qualify because he isn't at least 6 months behind (he is only 4 as far as an overall eval went). They told me then that they recommended having him evaluated by the actual speech therapist (really what are you people that's what I thought we were doing). That was 3 weeks ago and we still haven't heard from them for an appointment.

On a total positive note Katie peed in the potty all morning long only had one poopy accident, this afternoon wasn't as successful but I'll take what I get with a smile.
Not to leave Abigail out she had her usual hour nap and decided that the other 2 were done as well so while I was in the kitchen she went to their room and opened the door yelling"wake up"! Really child do you not understand mommy likes the quiet time? And yes having only one child awake is quiet time around her.

Mommy Guilt

Websters Dictionary has 3 definitions for guilt they are
1: the fact of having committed a breach of conduct especially violating law and involving a penalty; broadly : guilty conduct 2 a: the state of one who has committed an offense especially consciously b: feelings of culpability especially for imagined offenses or from a sense of inadequacy : self-reproach 3: a feeling of culpability for offenses

None of them really hit on mommy guilt, especially the guilt of a HOM mommy. I was visiting with a new mommy of triplets today and I was holding her very beautiful baby girl we were discussing the feeling of guilt as you let one or two or all three of our children cry while we deal with the others or simply stick our heads under the pillow and scream because we don't know what to do.

There are so many stages and degrees of mommy guilt but tonight I think I'll just discuss a couple.

• First feeling of guilt not being able to carry them all to full term causing them to be in the NICU out of my reach being poked and prodded and seperated..
• Being wheeled out of the hospital with only flowers in my arms, leaving my babies behind
• Not being able to keep up with breast milk supply for all three
• Leaving Abigail behind- this perhaps will eat me up for the rest of my life. I was so happy to be bringing two babies home but incredibly guilt ridden for taking away her brother and sister, I get tearry eyed now just thinking of it.
• The countless times I couldn't get them fed in time and they screamed.
• The countless times they just wanted to be held and I just couldn't hold all three the way they needed.
• Propping bottles, this is not the way you picture feeding your children or anyones children for that matter. Feeding them should be a time for bonding not sticking a blanket under their chin while they lay on a pillow.
• James getting RSV
• Taking Katie for antibiotic shots 3 days in a row.
• Taking Katie to the ER for pneumonia and letting her have blood drawn and a cathater

And tonight knocking my poor baby down to the hard concrete because I couldn't see her in the dark. I knew she was there why didn't I make sure Daddy had her before I walked where I couldn't see? I am blind in the dark I need more light than the majority of people and I know this. It didn't stop me though I plowed right into her knocking her down and then sweeping her into my arms and getting her into the light as quick as I could to see what I had done. Now it wasn't bad just skinned knees and hands. Thank God her head didn't hit the ground.

There have been so many days of guilt and I know there are WAY more to come these are just a few. I always thought my mom was good at making me feel guilty for things but ha I couldn't even imagine all the guilt I had caused her.

I'm in for some trouble!

Oh me oh my I'm in for some trouble! Aunt Linda is here finally to live for good yay!!!!!! I'm so excited I can't stand it but really how many "grandmas" do 3 kids need?

She is my Aunt Linda so the kids great aunt or is it grand aunt (we had this discussion earlier but whatever). My kids already think they are the center of the universe and are so stinking spoiled it is unbelievable.

But yep now we have another person in our lives full time that thinks we are wonderful and yes I know that includes me to after all I was the princess around here before these kids came around (that includes you Sarah).

WELCOME HOME AUNT LINDA!! I'm so excited to finally have you in my life in Texas and I couldn't be more excited for my children to get to know you and love you like I do.

Poor Daddy

My poor husband is being so mistreated and I have no idea what to do. His own children are turning him away and crying for mommy in the morning not even allowing him to get them out of bed. Now this is pretty common for Abigail and even James but Katie? She is usually the daddy's girl.

For 2 mornings in a row now they have thrown an absolute fit crying "mommy, mommy". Yesterday he carried Katie into the living room and she threw herself on the floor and cried for 10 min until I picked her up. It took so long because James peed through his diaper and I had to find clean clothes and clean him up. Oh joy!

Anyway this morning they all began with the no and he just walked out of the room and said "they don't want me". I felt so awful, especially since he worked until well after they went to bed Monday night so he hadn't seen them in 24 hours. Poor daddy.

On another note my Granny is staying a couple of days with us. That should be a happy thing but I'm a little bitter. She lives with my aunt about 20 minutes away and has also has a trailer on the lake about an hour from here. She is 75 and hates to drive to my side of town because she is unfamiliar leading me to offer to come get her any time from either the lake or my aunts and she is welcome to stay her for as little or as long as she wants. I've made the offer every month or so for over a year. She hasn't even seen the triplets since she came for 1 hour last Christmas. Well she finally came and the kids LOVE her. It is insane how quickly they went to her. James loves to just sit next to her on the couch and draw on his magna doodle and bring her books to read. The girls have told her all kinds of stories and are amazed that she is Grandpa's Mommy.

My big fear though is that she won't keep it up. When my brother and I were growing up Granny always had her favorite grandchildren and Robbie and I weren't on that list. I don't want my babies to feel that same type or rejection and pain.

Tag I'm It!

My turn! Yay thanks Tammie I've been having a blast following this thing around and reading everyones responses!

Link to the person that tagged you and post the rules on your blog.

Share 5 random and/or weird facts about yourself on your blog. or
Share the 5 top places on your “want to see or want to see again” list. or
Share 5 things you never pictured being in your future when your were 25 years old.
Tag a minimum of 5, maximum of 10 random people at the end of your post and include links to their blogs. Let each person know that they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.The tagees have a choice of which they want to do.



Hmmm choices, choices I think I'll go with 5 random/weird facts although I really had to think about it


1. I don't like my food to touvh on my plate, I can't stand for anything to be mixed up that isn't supposed to be.

2. I can't sleep with socks on my feet no way no how even if it's really cold I'll get under the covers with them and as soon as they are warm I have to take them off or I can't sleep.

3. I loved being pregnant and would LOVE to be a surrogate if my hubby would let me just so I could experience pregnancy again.

4. I still have the first positive pregnancy test from the triplets on my vanity in my room!

5. I hate jello it is slimy and yucky, unless it has liquor in it than it's a jellow shot and totally acceptable!

That was really hard but trying to come up with 5 people to tag is even harder. I'm new to this whole blog thing so don't hate me for tagging you!

Dorinda, Jo, Amy, Stephanie, and Steffie (though I know you have no time) tag your it! I don't have a clue how to add a link? Anyone want to tell me?

Go away, go away germies!

Sick again what the heck? Someone lied to me when the triplets were born and I want to know why? My momma told me that when you became a mother you were not allowed to get sick anymore. Well I hate to break the mold on this rule but what the heck already?

Prior to July I worked in a Dr's office for the previous 6 years (minus the 7 months I was off while on bedrest and not sleeping with new triplets). During that time I never got sick maybe an occasional cold but nothing requiring a dr's visit or antibiotics. Well since July I have been to the dr (for myself) at least 6 times WTH? In July I was seen for incisional pain, in September I had horrible allergies, in October pink eye (the kids? nope) October more follow up for pain which the only answer I get is scar tissue and I can have surgery to remove when I'm ready, in November I got strep throat, and yesterday back for strep throat again. Again I ask WTH? I was exposed to germs everyday and don't get sick once now I'm exposed to nearly nothing and I'm best friends with the dr?

Not only do I have strep throat which I will do my best to avoid passing along to my kids but my poor baby boy is sick as well. I took James to the dr yesterday and he has a doable ear infection and asthma exacerbation so antibiotics for 10 days and oral steroids for 5. Poor thing was miserable yesterday but today seems to be better. Abigail on the other hand is now running a fever so I guess we need to share the germs. I'm feeling better today as well so maybe the dr was wrong and the test will come back negative for strep.

Maybe I should fumigate the house? Do they make such a thing? Hmmmmm ideas.......